me grandma's better!

i feel bad for grandmothers. not because they're old or anything like that. well, maybe partly because of that. but mainly because their grandchildren always issue challenges on their behalf. y'know how that goes don't you?

you ride in a friend's car and you notice he's not driving fast enough, you quip with a "man, you drive so slow, my grandma can beat your ass in drag racing!"

you go hiking with friends and you take a breather to rest your aching knees and ankles, someone almost always never fails to say "pick up the pace man! c'mon, my grandma can even run up and down this mountain ten times faster than you could!"

or how about in fights when someone gets smacked real hard in the face and he retorts in jest "is that all you got you (expletive) ?! my grandma can throw harder rabbit punches than the one you just gave me you (expletive)!!!"

i really feel bad for grandmas. which makes me wonder how many people have decided to take these challenges seriously.

scenario 1: golden acres (home for the aged)
nurse: hey thelma, y'know you're not supposed to leave the nursing home.
grandma1: i know.. but i have to go rock climbing with one of my grandson's friends.
nurse: well you better take your vitamins then.

scenario 2: at home, 9:00 pm
grandma 2: hey grandson, can i borrow your evo8 for a while?
grandson: what the??!!! why? you don't even know how to drive grandma..
grandma 2: i have to be at the loakan airport by 10pm, you set me up to drag race with one of your friends remember?
grandson: oh yeah... well, i hope you kick his ass then... here are the keys... good luck and remember to buckle up ok.

i really feel bad for grandmas. i'm out.