here's something for mike

actually here's something about michael jordan for all michael jordan fans, especially my buddy mike_dlp (cool alias eh mike?).

anyway, mike_dlp is such a huge fan of his airness (hairless) mike jordan. i swear he is. he's like the biggest fan of the guy based in the philippines, who lives in baguio city, and works for an outsourcing call center company. that's mike alright. name it, he has it.. jordan shirts, shoes, memorabilias, past championship videos and dvds, trading cards, a mouse pad (?), posters, a fan club id (?), a used set of jock straps sealed inside a vacuum glass container completely preserving the color, wrinkles and odor.. ok i was making that up.

but mike_dlp is a legit fan. you get the picture don't you? he's a bull (chicago) from bone to skin, and became a wizard (washington) when jordan moved there... or was it he became a wizard when he started reading those stupid harry potter novels. sheesh.

he used to drink cetrin (orange juice concentrate) when he was young.. then upgraded to tang when he got older.. then became a strict gatorade drinker when "his airness" started endorsing it.. that was after jordan dropped his endorsement for cutty shark.

which brings me to the meat of my post today... gatorade.

it's been said that jordan was given by gatorade a lifetime contract to endorse the thirst quenching, rehydrating, overpriced drink. so with no fat basketball contract and an insatiable need to satisfy his thirst for gambling, jordan cordially accepted the offer. now, gatorade marketing gurus quickly thought of ways to tap into new markets and further exploit the charm and star power of its lifetime endorser, jordan.

so, knowing jordan is now an ex-athlete, past his 40, enjoying his millions of retirement money spent on exhorbitant golf club shares (face it, he's still black no matter what.. and white golf club members still give him a hard time), expensive cuban cigars, rolex watches, hootchie mamas and strippers, casinos and shit... gatorade marketing gurus thought, we oughta tap a market that relates to the michael jordan of now, not michael jordan of yesterday.

so, after carefull product study,research and development and more market survey, segmentation, and analysis... team gatorade contacted jordan to present gatorade's newest brand / flavor. team gatorade said the new product will tap into the "jordan demographic" and cater to the needs of a newly developed market, something gatorad ice, fierce, regular, frost, xtreme, and x-factor with all its flavors haven't done.

the new gatorade flavor is... drumroll please... the new GATORADE PRUNE JUICE.

the tagline for the new brand is.. "because ex-athletes and rich snotty geriatrics need all the digestive help they can get!" plus, the product has some added features and health benefits.. it has added calcium contents to reinforce those brittle old-school bones.. and a dash of viagra to help men combat the dreaded erectile dysfunction due to old age. a fitting jordan drink indeed!

pretty wicked drink if you ask me. i can see jordan sticking his tounge out now.

i'm out.