desribe yourself in one word

heard it a lot of times.

everytime you get to the "getting-to-know-you" part of retreats, seminars, summer camps and even the first day of classes, they always have it.

stand up. say your full name. say your nickname. and to keep it real short, describe yourself in one word and why?

now what the fuck does this do? nothing, actually. it's just a stupid routine done by every pale-skinned, pimple-faced, sexually frustrated camp counselor. it's nonsense, that's what it is.

so far, i've heard desriptions like:

(1) i'm cool -- because i'm cool as ice baby! yeah! (bullshit! if you're cool, then why the fuck do you always carry around a pocket calculator? geek! you're a geek!)
(2) i'm friendly -- because i'm always here to listen. (really? well listen to this then. i don't think you're friendly, bitch!)
(3) very artistic -- because i'm really good in the arts. (i can see that. but is that an excuse not to wash your hair? take a shower you fucking hippie scum!)
(4) religious -- because i go to mass every sunday. and i love jesus! i really do! (woman, don't say that. for your own good, don't say that. because you might be personally talking to god before this session is over.)
(5) funny -- because i like telling jokes and i like making people laugh and i'm a very jolly person. here's a joke, what do you call a hundred lawyers chained at the bottom of the ocean? hm, c'mon tell me, what? hahaha! this is so funny! (the fuck! have you been on heavy medication lately? maybe you haven't noticed, but people laugh at you not with you, dumbass! yeah, that's because you look like a snot.)

when it was my turn, i simply said this:

A MISTAKE.

and i didn't bother explaining. why? because i don't feel like i owe a bunch of strangers an explanation of who i am.

i am a mistake, that is that. people who know me would agree to this.

i'm out.