TODAY'S TOP 5: MY EXERCISE PROGRAM

If you ask me what the average life expectancy of Filipinos are nowadays, I'd probably say that they usually live... until they die.  And not a day longer.

However, a more technical answer according to Index Mundi (http://www.indexmundi.com/philippines/life_expectancy_at_birth.html), the average Filipino is good for about 72 years.  Impressive?  Maybe not as it has been scientifically proven that we can still be outlived by a number of things such as Maling and Lucky Me noodles, which expire 150 years and 82 years, respectively, from the date of manufacture.  Amazingly, this life expectancy figure increased from 69 years in the year 2003.  Further proof that former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was (and still is) bad for the health of Filipinos.

Anyway, I've recently decided to join the "health-conscious" population of this country by embarking (and dedicating myself) on an exercise program that will improve not only my physique, but also my overall wellness.

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5) STRETCHING
I usually do this every morning upon waking up (and it's still a medical anomaly why I wake up every morning).  While still in bed, I stretch up and reach as far north as I can.  Then I stretch my limbs laterally on both sides.  Then I stretch down, with shoulders still pinned on the bed, and... scratch my balls and pototoy.  That completes my stretching routine for the day.

4) BENDING
Done with extreme care, usually when I'm picking up something off the floor.  Lower back bending: "Uy, syet Piso!"  Neck bending:  "Uy helicopter, oh!"  Lower back bending with extreme balance:  "Potek naman nabitawan ko nanaman yung sabon!"  Lower back, knee, and ankle bending combo: "Ay syet tae!"

3) AB CRUNCHES
This is the most difficult routine in my exercise regimen.  Which explains why I mostly do it twice a day only...  when I tie and untie my shoelaces.  To achieve maximum result, the key in this exercise is to tie your shoe laces as loosely as possible so you can repeat the ab crunches as much as you can during the day.

2) WORKING THE BICEPS
The most expensive exercise in my daily regimen.  It requires a spoon and lots of food.  Step 1: make an "L-shape" of your arm in front of your chest.  Step 2: make your arms as stiff (especially your biceps) as possible.  Step 3: pick up the spoon and proceed to scoop the food from your plate.  Step 4: eat.  Repeat this 350 times on each arm per meal per day and you will feel your biceps will certainly firm up and tone.  Very important reminder: do not do this with your right arm only, you won't like the result after two months.

1) BREATHING EXERCISE
My breathing exercise is based on the oriental way of breathing which helps increase the "Chi" that will eventually strengthen your "Core."  Step 1: light up a cigarette.  Step 2: avoid normal "puffing" with your cigarette, instead inhale as deep as you can with as much smoke as you can.  Step 3:  hold smoke in your lungs for at least 10 seconds.  Step 4:  exhale slowly with smoke circles.

BONUS EXERCISE: THE SPRINT
Since running/ jogging is such a fad these days, I have managed to incorporate a cardio-vascular challenge in my exercise program.  The challenge, however, is to not run, but sprint in 3 to 5 minute bursts.  To do this, you can either throw pebbles and insults at your local neighborhood siga ("Huy, tangna mo!  Bakit ikaw siga dito ha?!  Suntukan na lang tayo o!!!) then sprint, or you can anger your local stray askal, then sprint again.

Do these exercises religiously and I guarantee you will live a healthier life.  You may even live more than 72 years.  Or at least live until President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo gets convicted on her plunder charges.