i'm feeling a bit jolly today. whoa! wait a minute, did i just say "jolly?" does anyone use the word "jolly" anymore? seriously. what kind of a moronic loser would use the word "jolly" in an introduction of a post. a loser... like me.
let's rant.
:: walking HBOs -- don't you just hate it when people take lines from popular movies and inject their thing in there and use it as if it were their own.
fuck you! you didn't write that line. "you had me at hello, even before you entered the door" oh shut the fuck up! the least you could do is acknowledge your source, or buy a friggin' jerry maguire poster.
like i know someone who loves fight club so much. and i mean soooo very much. the guy's practically a walking, breathing, uglier version of tyler durden. anyfuckingway, he love's the movie so much he always makes use of "the first rule of (blank) is..." reference. at first it was cool. "dude, the first rule of playing video games is...", "dude, the first rule in eating in a japanese restaurant is...", "dude the first rule in smoking a cigarette is...", "dude, the first rule in listening to a ramones album is...", dude the first rule this, dude, the first rule that. arghhhh!!!
dude, the first rule of hanging out with you is... not to hang out with you at all. please shut the fuck up or i'll take this really bulky fight club vhs tape and smash it in your head. reality check: you are not brad pitt, you are not tyler durden, you do not make soap, and you're not a charismatic leader of some vigilante group that spreads mayhem and mischief. you are a pimple-faced computer nerd that goes to the movies alone with your popcorn on one hand and your soda on the other.
besides, if you're so fucking clever mr. the-first-rule-to-everything-is, then answer this: what's the second rule?
just as i suspected. ass!
:: people who feels the need to wish everyone to have a nice day -- nothing wrong with wishing someone well, especially in the morning. if you're going to say have a nice day, make sure that that someone indeed has a lot of day ahead of him. don't wish him have a nice day at 9:00 in the evening. where the fuck is your common sense dipshit???
and please be sensitive enough. if you can see a person is really having a rough day, don't say have a nice day just for the heck of it. it really wouldn't sound nice. someone said that to me once: 10:00 in the morning, i'm flooded with a million requests from a million different people, i haven't shaved, i haven't had enough coffee. then this guy comes in and says, "hey, it's a tuesday and i'm feeling super. i hope you do too. have a nice day."
"bullshit! did i win the lotto? grow hair? lose weight? do i have a mansion? can you see super models flashing their breasts in my face? did i save the world? no? then get out of my fucking face!"
why not say, "can i help you with anything," instead? now that'll be better than taunting someone with "have a nice day." jesus christ, if that officemate ever pulls off something like that again, i'll @@$%%#$##$&*^##*^ his ass!!!!
:: people asking for directions -- can't i guy smoke a cigarette on the streets of baguio without dealing with absurd distractions? my only time to get away and rest my puny brain for a few minutes , and now i have some jackass from some far away province asking me how to get to the bus station.
do i look like i have a map tattooed across my chest? here, i'll clue you in - those lines are called stretch marks, buddy. it ain't a step by step guide on how to get around the city. do i look like a tour guide? i don't think so.
listen up. before you leave your tiny over priced hotel room to venture out into this tiny, dirty city of ours - remember to bring your map. because when the next seemingly innocent jerkoff strolls up to me with his dorky video camera out, wearing his "i love baguio city" t-shirt and bonet on... i swear on kris aquino's grave that i will take my cigarette and put it out right where the cow goes moo! fucking tourists!
:: people who think they're just so smart -- like that asshole who when asked what their favorite film is, they mention some random 1950's french drama about a guy who's slowly being manipulated by civilization.
shut the fuck up, einstein!!!
either say godfather 2, or fight club like everyone else or prepare for me to break your long skinny nose.
and oh, how about that sorry excuse for a human being who accidentally learned latin when he was twelve and wave it in your face during every conversation. do i look like i give two shits? hey, i learned how to play with my balls at around the same age - wanna give me a fucking medal? ass!
that's it. i'm spent. have a nice fucking day!
i'm out.
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