sometimes when i'm bored i play up these scenarios in my brain. fun, sunshine-y, skippy-dee-doo-da scenarios. for example, i want to buy a whole box of spray paint. then i'd sneak in the office really early, like fucking 5:00 am early, and proceed to spray the words "fuck you" on every goddamn monitor in the office. and for my boss' monitor, i'd spray the words "fuck you! you're an idiot you fucking fag!!!" yeah, that'll be fun. and did i say i'd do it on every monitor? yeah, every single one of them. except for the one co-worker that annoys me the most. because that's where i'll hide the cans once i'm done.
then i'll go home, take a shower, drink coffee, and be at the office on time. then i'll go really nuts like, "who the fuck did this??? answer me! have you no respect for office property? i say we find the motherfucking vandal who did this and cut his dick off!!!" then i and 33 other thugs in the office will do rounds and i'd point to them that fuckface's monitor where i hid all the cans. then we'll take him outside and beat him up real bad. til his black and blue and can no longer speak. then i'd get my boss to fire him in front of everyone. then he'd be crying like a fag and be begging for his job back, but my boss will just kick him in the groin and say: "i'm not a fucking fag you unemployed piece of crap!!!"
that'll be fun.
and as he leaves the office with all his things neatly packed in his stupid box i'd say to him: "hey asshole, next time you wanna borrow my stapler, ask me nicely, okay?"
i'm out.
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