whatever happened to amelia earhart... blah blah blah

there are those who were destined to fly.

and there are those who were cursed to stay grounded and crawl the earth for all eternity.

that is reality, and we must learn to accept that.

in 1903, the wright brothers, with their monstrous creation, conquered the air for 12 seconds. some 60 years later, they recorded smash hits that included "you've lost that loving feeling" and "unchained melody." wait a minute. those were the righteous brothers. shit.

anyway, moving on. in june 1928, amelia earhart became the first woman to fly across the atlantic. incidentally, the boeing company lays off some 20,000 to 30,000 employees 73 years later. talking through a spirit medium, amelia said she wished she was the one who got laid instead.

what is my point here? i don't fucking know. all i know is not all creatures gifted with wings should be flying.

***
pilot: tower, this is flight 232 requesting permission to land, over.
tower: roger that flight 232. the runway's all clear for landing.
pilot: roger that.
(a few milliminutes later)
pilot: tower, this is flight 232. there seems to be a problem with our visual. the runway, is blocked with something grey. it has the word nautica printed on it.
tower: roger that flight 232. abort! abort!
pilot: too late. my landing gears and flaps are already down. will make an emergency landing on a nearby field. wish me luck, tower.
tower: godspeed, flight 232.

***
next thing you know a fat guy's blurting out inaudible expletives, twitching and turning with both of his hands struggling to reach the back of his neck, while his brand spankin' new grey nautica shirt is drenched with a mug of freshly brewed coffee.

the fat guy is me. a cockroach landed on the back of my neck.

i hate roaches. i hate them all. i wish it would rain mothballs for 40 days and 40 nights so every goddamn cockroach would just die! or i wish everyone in china, all 1.3 billion of them, would join fear factor and each of them would have to eat roaches for about a week so they can win $50,000 and a pair of kicks from nike... yeah, the one that says "made in fucking china."

fuck! i hate creepy, crawly cockroaches! and i miss my shirt! argh!!!

i'm out.