4.13.2007

fuck the alchemist

if you're still reading this shit, then there's something seriously wrong with your head. either that or i have to get a restraining order.

good day fuckers. how's it hanging?

so i'll skip the usual "woe on me for not posting for such a long time and may the blogging gods strike me with lightning twice and plunge my world in eternal darkness for all of eternity" bit and just give you a straight update of what's up with me these days.

this is it... NOTHING! oh, by the way... here's my ASS!!! and it's fucking STUCK!!!

yep. i'm still stuck with the same work in the same company. still stuck with the same suck-y salary. still stuck in the same office with the same suck-y people. still the stuck in the same routine. in fact, i'm so stuck i need a metal spatula to scrape my ass off the office chair everytime i go on a bathroom break. and in most cases i don't make it in time. so now i wear diapers.

remember that tv show we put up? it didn't work out. yeah, the story of my life if you ask me.


don't get me wrong. there's nothing wrong with the wife and kids. at least that's one department in my life i haven't screwed up... yet.

goodnessfuckinggraciousthankyoufuckingjesus for that!!!

i'm looking for some change right now. a career change maybe. a change of scenery. or even just a change of nappies. i don't fucking care, really. just a change. because right now, i don't like the fact that my default facial expression is a scowl and that i let anyone who asks for a light or even asks for time get to know the business end of my shoe up their asses.

i hate that because even if i'm a badass and i eat rocks for breakfast, and wash them down with a few bottles of diesel, and smoke like 80 cigarettes a day, and carry a chainsaw everywhere i go, and fluff my armpits with gunpowder, deep inside, i'm still looking for what that gay writer terms as my own "personal legend." and i won't even ask you how many redundant terms i wrote in that last phrase.

ah yes... the "personal legend." the one thing in the world that you are suppose to do or suppose to be to find your ultimate happiness. the gay writer even went as far as saying that the whole universe conspires into helping you achieve your "personal legend." ooookay. so if the universe conspires to help, then isn't it possible that the universe, with all its mysteries and shit, can have a bad day and conspire against you. think about it, pussybrain. what if you're in the rut you're in right now because the universe cooked up some universal conspiracy of letting you have it in the ass. (dramatic pause for three seconds)... IN THE ASS!!! HOLY SHIT!!!

anyway, forget about that and answer this assmunch, what the fuck is an alchemist? seriously.

i'd rather be a chemist, a profession with a clear definition in the dictionary and has the capacity to make millions by mixing shit together to produce crystal methane, rather than some weird, ambiguous, buddha on a mountaintop, i am one with the universe cocksucker. and all it takes is to take out two letters.

i don't know what the fuck i'm saying anymore, but i don't care. in the grand scheme of things, we'll all be dead anyway. now shoo, or i'm calling the cops.

//i'm out.

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