:: i skipped work after an all-nighter with olie and guill. yeah. skipped. on purpose. and i had to tell them some lie about me being sick. damn, i hope my boss isn't reading any of this shit.
but come to think of it, i really told them the truth. i was sick. sick and tired of work, that is. this is the first time that i have felt anything like this about anything. and i hate it. this isn't me. of course i'm cynical and i complain, and i whine, and i bitch about things... but this time, this contempt is real.
:: imagine, eight bottles of beer and numerous shots of brandy (and i don't drink brandy!) and i'm over-analyzing things! shit!
:: guill is a very talented kahonista, by the way. he makes it look and sound easy. even with a canister of pringles or a five-gallon water jug, he can still give you wicked beats!
:: olie has become, shall i say, a very accomplished babbler.. not yet the scat artist that jason mraz is, but he's getting there. last night he played impromptu riffs with improv lyrics such as:
>> "binosohan ko ang tiyahin kong malaki ang..."
>> "ah... eh... eh-eeehh... oh... oh-ooohhhhh... waaaahhh!!!"
>> "meron akong kaibigan... kaibigang mataba... matagal na niyang di makita ang kanyang alaga..."
>> "kung wala nang tissue... gumamit ng resibo..."
shit like that.
:: stepped out of the bar at four in the morning and it was really cold. i saw a thermometer and it gave an "antartica" reading. and still i didn't want to go home. i just wanted sit there. on the curb. with my guitar. smoking cigarettes. in the middle of nowhere. waiting for nothing. you tend to think of a lot of things especially when your wife is not around.
is this midlife crisis (at 29)? or have i officially bottomed out.
:: do people even use friendster anymore?
:: and how can a 24-hour gasoline station convenience store not serve coffee at four in the morning just because they're mopping the floor?!! what the fuck is up with that?! don't you people want business? my money ain't good enough for you? am i too fat for you? do i remind you of your uncle? is he a retard? what?!
:: maybe i do remind them of their retarded uncle.
12.14.2008
a post of shorts
unlike the previous post (read it first)... this one is a post of shorts... different kinds of shorts.
enjoy.
ciao people!
enjoy.
ciao people!12.12.2008
real.time.blogging.sortof.
10.35 AM
fuck damn, i'm sleepy! i can't work. i can't function well. and i can't handle the cold shoulder treatment. it's something that i've never learned to deal with. ever. i am completely capable of compartmentalized thinking... but whenever i get the cold shoulder, my consciousness, focus, and resolve all goes haywire. i can't stand the fact that someone somewhere would want to stab my spleen with a spoon. maybe it's me. my flawed character. the way i like to please everyone as much as possible. but i can't do that, right? can i?
the term cold shoulder, by the way, was coined sir walter scott in his 1816 book, the antiquary. during those days (back when anal intrusion was still sanctioned by the catholic church), an unwelcome guest or a guest that has maxed out his welcome was served a cold shoulder of mutton instead of a hot meal.
i say give me a cold shoulder of mutton instead.
10.44 AM
i found myself staring blankly into space again. i was thinking of the time i first reported for work in this company. why? well.. i guess you start to think of the beginning when you know the end is near. hot damn! you gotta admit, i delivered that line better than brad pitt did in mr. & mrs. smith. score one for me, yo!
11.08 AM
today's crossword is extremely hard to complete... especially now that i've torn the damn thing to a thousand bits. f*ck you crossword puzzle!
11.15 AM
if only i can muster enough energy to edit these articles. if. only. shit!
11.29 AM
onerepublic's record sounds quite good. i'm mildly amused with it. found myself singing along with some tunes. if only these guys didn't feature lacoste as much in their mtvs, they would've had better street cred. now, they're product placement whores instead.
11.41 AM
is it lunchtime yet? is it? damn!
11.43 AM
one facebook contact just announced she will attend the "hug a jew day" on february 2. wow! hug a jew. what's up with that? how about hug a german?
12.00 PM
finally! lunch! now time to eat my cold shoulder of mutton.
ciao guys!
fuck damn, i'm sleepy! i can't work. i can't function well. and i can't handle the cold shoulder treatment. it's something that i've never learned to deal with. ever. i am completely capable of compartmentalized thinking... but whenever i get the cold shoulder, my consciousness, focus, and resolve all goes haywire. i can't stand the fact that someone somewhere would want to stab my spleen with a spoon. maybe it's me. my flawed character. the way i like to please everyone as much as possible. but i can't do that, right? can i?
the term cold shoulder, by the way, was coined sir walter scott in his 1816 book, the antiquary. during those days (back when anal intrusion was still sanctioned by the catholic church), an unwelcome guest or a guest that has maxed out his welcome was served a cold shoulder of mutton instead of a hot meal.
i say give me a cold shoulder of mutton instead.
10.44 AM
i found myself staring blankly into space again. i was thinking of the time i first reported for work in this company. why? well.. i guess you start to think of the beginning when you know the end is near. hot damn! you gotta admit, i delivered that line better than brad pitt did in mr. & mrs. smith. score one for me, yo!
11.08 AM
today's crossword is extremely hard to complete... especially now that i've torn the damn thing to a thousand bits. f*ck you crossword puzzle!
11.15 AM
if only i can muster enough energy to edit these articles. if. only. shit!
11.29 AM
onerepublic's record sounds quite good. i'm mildly amused with it. found myself singing along with some tunes. if only these guys didn't feature lacoste as much in their mtvs, they would've had better street cred. now, they're product placement whores instead.
11.41 AM
is it lunchtime yet? is it? damn!
11.43 AM
one facebook contact just announced she will attend the "hug a jew day" on february 2. wow! hug a jew. what's up with that? how about hug a german?
12.00 PM
finally! lunch! now time to eat my cold shoulder of mutton.
ciao guys!
12.09.2008
skeedee-bee-bop-blap-blah!
i only have a few minutes to spare before my batteries run out. so i'll just ramble random thoughts off my brain. please join me.
:: reading my original blog (paningit.blogspot.com), the one i started back in 2004 (back when blogging was still both an exact science and a pure art form.. whatever the fuck that means)... i can't imagine how much i have evolved. i started off as a polite young man, just baring my views and and my personal take on things for all the world to read. then i turned into a rampaging, swearing narcissist (where i did my best works by the way). and now, this, a mellowed down rampaging, swearing cynic. what the hell happened. it's like i never lost my angst but i lost my capacity to say "asswipe, fucktard, and shitface" in a matter of three years. change can't be that radical. can it?
:: my capacity to misspell and mistype (if there's such a word) remained consistent through the years, though.
:: i have to apologize to my left brain. yes. my left brain. the hemisphere that controls my right hand, analysis, logic, and math. i haven't been using him as much lately. i think he's jealous of my right brain. yeah, the so-called creative side. so when someone accused me of being stupid in math (about a month and a half ago)... lefty laughed at me so hard i heard a vein pop in my head. yes. i've been wrongfully accused. people who really know me, though, wouldn't even think of that. they'd know better. way better. ha! so i have to apoligize to my left brain. sorry, lefty. sorry if you felt neglected for the past couple of years. i'd like you to know that i'm contemplating of going back to graduate school really soon. and me and righty couldn't do that by ourselves. we need you. i promise to speak more in maths in the coming days.
:: and to go back to graduate school, i need a change in my present situation. a major change. a life-altering, tectonic-plate-shifting change. i need to find a better situation. a better place. some place where i am actually wanted and i can run free to be myself. well... i can't actually run.. but you get the point. some place where i can shout at the top of my lungs and say "fuck, i need a smoke and a drink!" and there'd be no judging eyes staring at me. some other place. not this. i'd be doing myself and my family a great disservice if i don't do something about it real soon.
well, that's all for now. ciao, f*ckers!
:: reading my original blog (paningit.blogspot.com), the one i started back in 2004 (back when blogging was still both an exact science and a pure art form.. whatever the fuck that means)... i can't imagine how much i have evolved. i started off as a polite young man, just baring my views and and my personal take on things for all the world to read. then i turned into a rampaging, swearing narcissist (where i did my best works by the way). and now, this, a mellowed down rampaging, swearing cynic. what the hell happened. it's like i never lost my angst but i lost my capacity to say "asswipe, fucktard, and shitface" in a matter of three years. change can't be that radical. can it?
:: my capacity to misspell and mistype (if there's such a word) remained consistent through the years, though.
:: i have to apologize to my left brain. yes. my left brain. the hemisphere that controls my right hand, analysis, logic, and math. i haven't been using him as much lately. i think he's jealous of my right brain. yeah, the so-called creative side. so when someone accused me of being stupid in math (about a month and a half ago)... lefty laughed at me so hard i heard a vein pop in my head. yes. i've been wrongfully accused. people who really know me, though, wouldn't even think of that. they'd know better. way better. ha! so i have to apoligize to my left brain. sorry, lefty. sorry if you felt neglected for the past couple of years. i'd like you to know that i'm contemplating of going back to graduate school really soon. and me and righty couldn't do that by ourselves. we need you. i promise to speak more in maths in the coming days.
:: and to go back to graduate school, i need a change in my present situation. a major change. a life-altering, tectonic-plate-shifting change. i need to find a better situation. a better place. some place where i am actually wanted and i can run free to be myself. well... i can't actually run.. but you get the point. some place where i can shout at the top of my lungs and say "fuck, i need a smoke and a drink!" and there'd be no judging eyes staring at me. some other place. not this. i'd be doing myself and my family a great disservice if i don't do something about it real soon.
well, that's all for now. ciao, f*ckers!
born on thanksgiving (a very late post)
for the past 29 years, i can almost certainly count with only my two hands (that's ten fingers, if you must know) the number of thanksgivings that didn't fall on my birthday. i don't know, i could be wrong. but that's my version and i'm sticking with it.
anyway, thanksgiving. it's not really a filipino event. nothing really ever happens on the 24th of november. except for my legendary parties. legendary, not because of extravagance (jeepers, my birthdays are cheap!) but because of the freaky things that happen in them. of course, those things deserve their own blog post, which i plan to do in a series... but you know how my attention span goes haywire and all. anyway...
so, thanksgiving. a time of thanking. a time of giving. a time of giving thanks. and i'm not big on gratitude. and i'm trying to change that. i need to be more thankful, being born on thanksgiving and shit. y'know.
and so now, i thank family and friends of present and past...
> my folks for not going through the abortion... kidding. but seriously, thank you for not leaving me inside a basket and let me drift off the nile. who knows what the egyptians would've done to the world if they had the chance to harness my talents.
> my little sister.. for believing all her life she's adopted.... again, kidding.
> my friends for being there when i need them. and for being there even if i don't need them. and just for being. for beer. for coffee. for smokes. for the good. and for the bad.
> my kids... for believing me when i said (successful after 84 tries) they were not adopted and that i'm really their father. yes, my kids, life does suck at times. and no, you are not children of some english duke. and no, i can't afford a castle and a pony. and no, rainbows aren't for sale either.
> my wife... for everything. for the purpose. and for the meaning.
i'm not really big on gratitude. but i'd most certainly try. even if it kills me.
ciao for now, yeah?
anyway, thanksgiving. it's not really a filipino event. nothing really ever happens on the 24th of november. except for my legendary parties. legendary, not because of extravagance (jeepers, my birthdays are cheap!) but because of the freaky things that happen in them. of course, those things deserve their own blog post, which i plan to do in a series... but you know how my attention span goes haywire and all. anyway...
so, thanksgiving. a time of thanking. a time of giving. a time of giving thanks. and i'm not big on gratitude. and i'm trying to change that. i need to be more thankful, being born on thanksgiving and shit. y'know.
and so now, i thank family and friends of present and past...
> my folks for not going through the abortion... kidding. but seriously, thank you for not leaving me inside a basket and let me drift off the nile. who knows what the egyptians would've done to the world if they had the chance to harness my talents.
> my little sister.. for believing all her life she's adopted.... again, kidding.
> my friends for being there when i need them. and for being there even if i don't need them. and just for being. for beer. for coffee. for smokes. for the good. and for the bad.
> my kids... for believing me when i said (successful after 84 tries) they were not adopted and that i'm really their father. yes, my kids, life does suck at times. and no, you are not children of some english duke. and no, i can't afford a castle and a pony. and no, rainbows aren't for sale either.
> my wife... for everything. for the purpose. and for the meaning.
i'm not really big on gratitude. but i'd most certainly try. even if it kills me.
ciao for now, yeah?
12.05.2008
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