ever had that feeling everytime your boss gets done giving you instructions, you'd want to reply with a witty or even a smart-ass remark... just for kicks. but of course you know better (any uncalled quip that comes out from that facial blowhole of yours can either get you fired or get you.. well.. fired), so most often than not you just give a nod as a sign of approval to whatever he just said (even though you don't have the slightest clue of what it meant). well, here are some samples that the little voice in my head kept urging me to just.. "say it, say it, say it bad boy:"
1. "... well, if you need me, i'll be at the bar."
2. "... you want fries with that?"
3. "screw the deadline! i say let's party!!!"
4. "enough of this corporate mambo-jumbo bullshit!!!"
5. "no sir, i will not give you a lap dance."
6. "so how many blowjobs did you have to give just to get to that position?"
7. "yes my fingernails are clean!"
8. "i was wondering if you could go get me a pina colada... and don't forget to put in my glass one of them little umbrellas too."
9. "hmmm... strong words.. strong words indeed."
10. "have you seen the movie fight club?"
11. "ok step back.. you're invading my space here! of course you are, i can smell what you had for breakfast!"
12. "are you really my boss, or are you an alien from outerspace?"
13. "boy, that'll be the day!"
14. "shoo!"
15. "can't you see i'm trying to work here... yes, coffee drinking is serious work."
16. "am i getting paid for this?"
17. "i'd prefer you address me as don lino."
18. "hello... human being here... yes, a true living organism... with feelings... over here.. thank you."
19. "how 'bout i say you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours.. hmmm."
20. "AMEN! amen to that brother!"
i'm out.
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