LOL and ROTFLMAO

okay. bear with me for a while.

i've been chatting my way through the internet for quite some time now. but i haven't, for the fraggin' life of me, ever got the hang of using chat lingo. i don't know why. i'm just that kind of retard, i guess.

so i'm a retard and i converse with people through chat and often i see them use terms like LOL (for laughing out loud) and ROTFLMAO (for rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off). at first, i thought "what the fuck are these people saying here?!" i really didn't have a clue... it's like a secret vernacular for this ultra hip secret society that has an eleven-digit password and an ultra cool knock and shit. so being the moron that i am, i pretended to know what LOL and ROTFLMAO meant.

until i got tired and i googled the motherfucking terms. i found it a bit amusing, actually, so i tried making use of them. problem is, i feel twice the idiot that i already am whenever i use shit like BRB, CWYL, and GTG... and i feel i am not being completely honest with the person i'm talking to if i use acronyms like LOL or ROTFLMAO instead of "hehehe" and "hahaha."

for people who use these terms, don't get me wrong, please. i've got nothing against you guys. if that's your thing, then it's fine. it's just that it doesn't work for everyone. certainly not for me. i know this has been the "thing to do" for a while now, but recently i feel its use has been taken too far.

like yesterday, when i was talking to my friend online. same old bullshit. i say i'm tired. he asks why. i say because i got sucked into watching conan o'brien until 1:00 am. he says LOL.

huh? LOL??? let me get this straight. you just laughed out loud because i said i stayed up late to watch tv? it wasn't a fucking joke you ass. and i bet you weren't even laughing. i bet you had nothing of importance to say in return so you just threw in a LOL for the hell of it.

and ROTFLMAO. oh shit this one really gets me. when was the last time you rolled on the floor laughing over something someone said on the internet. to tell you the truth, i never rolled on the floor laughing. the only way you'll ever see me rolling on the floor is if i accidentally light the hair in my ass on fire.

anyway, that's just my fucking opinion.

so going back to my yesterday. yeah that stupid batchmate of mine who kept replying LOL to everything i said... anyway... apparently he's a huge fan of blogs too. thankfully not a fan of my blog (whew!).

he said he noticed the sharp increase in people who comment on my shit. i ask, what the fuck is wrong with that??? he said, oh nothing. a few minutes later, that "oh, nothing" really turns out to be "i think that people should stay away from the things you write because you don't really say anything that has sense."

"who? me? sense? well boo-fucking-hoo! who ever told you that i had sense??? who ever fucking told you that i'd like to complicate things by throwing in my two cents worth of shit about life's meaning and the purpose of existence and the blah fucking blah blah blah of things???"

i should have said that. but no. yesterday was sunday and i didn't feel like busting a nerve in my head... so i said, "well, you know me. hehehe."

i thought that'll shut him up. i was wrong. he went on criticizing every fucking post i had especially the ones about god and about valen-fucking-tine's day. then he gives me the url of one of his favorite blogs. a blog that, he said, is worth posting a comment on.

so i checked out the blog (don't bother asking for the fucking url, i didn't save it) and here's what i read:

:: today i went out for a walk. i like to take walks, especially long ones, because you really get to think and feel part of the outside world. you should take a walk today. get some fresh air. you might enjoy life more. ::

what a fucking loser!!! take a walk today??? what the fuck are you, some kind of a recovering alcoholic who lived in a box for the past three months??? jesus fucking christ in my ass, some fucking post.... bravo!... some fucking post!!!

yeah it pissed me off real good. but what pissed me off even more was that this lame blog written by some talentless limpdick loser had 32 comments under it.

32 fucking comments. 32! are you kidding me? i take a good twenty minutes of my time to write a thoughtful post about how sexy my ass is (which gets 14), while this moron says he likes walks and gets 32 friggin' comments. what's wrong with society? are people simply that boring???

i guess they are. LOL! ROTFLMAO!

i'm out.