so i sat in this meeting for most of the morning. the thing sucked big time. it was about our operations and million kilowatt-hours and shit, y'know, this and that. anyway, i can honestly say that the meeting was the most painful three hours i've ever had in a room full of engineers... yes, including the gang rape incident 8 years ago.
then we came to the part where we talked about this big project we'll embarking on early next year -- the construction of two friggin' hydropower plants. it's big. as in billions big. that's when i dozed off. when i woke up, they were talking about acquiring a number of boring machines worth at least a cool 1.5 million each for the project.
"that's it!" i said to myself. something has to be done. so i got off my chair and said:
"what the fuck do you dipshits need those things for?!! boring machines? for what? i mean, don't you think we have enough of that shit in this company already? just take a look at you guys, 20 minutes into the meeting and you almost had me take out my lighter and burn the chest hairs of our hairy boss here, harry (not his real name, but i had to make a rhyme). you fucking bored the hell out of me!!! i say we save the money and buy ourselves some kickass karaoke machines instead. so who's with me?"
they paused. stared at me for five frigging minutes because engineers are like that, they're like pentium twos that tend to over analyze every data they get. i can almost read what they were thinking:
> why didn't i think of that?
> this fat blabber mouth is a genius!
> amazing! he's right!
> why am i still a virgin? oh yeah, i'm an engineer... silly me.
then they all shouted in approval. the whole boardroom broke into a festive mardigras complete with marching bands, floats, confetti, hot chicks showing their jugs, and elephants with fancy accessories. everyone was so frigging happy and they lined up to congratulate me and my ingenious idea.
one of the nerds even offered to be my personal butler for the rest of his life. i declined, so i let him shampoo my crotch instead. he agreed, but only if he could lick my balls after shampooing them. i said, hell yeah! then everyone lined up and took turns licking my balls. the bosses. the boring engineers. the hot chicks in grass skirts, the trumpet players, the elephants... everyone!
then i really woke up. and everyone was staring at me.
and i thought it was the perfect opportunity to ask for a bathroom break.
//i'm out.
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