i can just feel this carrot slide in and out of my funhole! (y'knowwattymsayin'?)
it was this rare thing that happened yesterday (you know what i'm saying?) that i got home early (you know what i'm saying?) around 6 PM (you know what i'm saying?).
it was great (y'knowwattymsayin'?) and i had the chance to have dinner with my family (y'knowwattymsayin'?) and spend some quality time with them (y'knowwattymsayin'?). and after dinner, we all went to the living room to watch tv (y'knowwattymsayin'?) and i had the opportunity (y'knowwattymsayin'?) to watch shows that i haven't seen for about a year now (y'knowwattymsayin'?).
after watching tv (y'knowwattymsayin'?), i kissed the kids good night (y'knowwattymsayin'?) and i went back to watch some more tv (y'knowwattymsayin'?). so i was surfing channels (y'knowwattymsayin'?) and apparently i got hooked on mtv (that didn't surprise me - (y'knowwattymsayin'?)) and on this show called cribs... mtv cribs (y'knowwattymsayin'?). it amazed me to no end that houses and condo units (y'knowwattymsayin'?) owned by celebrity millionaires ( not just celebreties, but celebrity millionaires (y'knowwattymsayin'?)) that have the market value of at least five million bucks (including furnishings, appliances, cars and shit (y'knowwattymsayin'?)) can be called a crib (y'knowwattymsayin'?).
what annoyed me, however (y'knowwattymsayin'?), is not how these celebrity millionaires paraded their riches in front of everyone (y'knowwattymsayin'?), but how these celebrity millionaires think everyone (y'knowwattymsayin'?) is as dumb as they are (y'knowwattymsayin'?).
i tell you, it's the only show on tv(y'knowwattymsayin'?) and probably the only period in my entire life (y'knowwattymsayin'?) when i'll ever hear the phrase... yep, you guessed it... "Y'KNOWWATTYMSAYIN'?" a record 84,000 times in a span of 30 minutes (y'knowwattymsayin'?). what the fuck is up with that?!!!! (y'knowwattymsayin'?)
now it's got me hooked. i can't take it out of my head (y'knowwattymsayin'?). it's like a virus. it's stuck right there (y'knowwattymsayin'?). like a piece of annoying, decomposing food wedged between the molars at the back of my mouth and no matter what you do with a toothpick, toothbrush, floss, or a jack hammer, you can't seem to get it out of there (y'knowwattymsayin'?).
what ticked me more is how they say "Y'KNOWWATTYMSAYIN'?" not as an expression but like you're really dumb enough not to understand what it was they were saying (y'knowwattymsayin'?).
like...
"and this is my bed y'knowwattymsayin'? this is where it all goes down y'knowwattymsayin'?."
-- yeah fucktard, it's where you sleep and have sex with shallow women.
"and this is my pool y'knowwattymsayin'? it has a jacuzzi and has a lot of water in it y'knowwattymsayin'?"
-- yeah, well, like it's supposed to be filled with jello or beans or something? of course it's filled with water, dumbass!
"and this here is my pimpin' ride baby y'knowwattymsayin'?. it's got its motor under the hood y'knowwattymsayin'? check it out."
-- well, i'll be darned if your car had the motor attached at the side of its 24-inch rims, mr. henry ford.
"and this here is my fridge y'knowwattymsayin'? aw, nevermind man, there's nothing to pimp here y'knowwattymsayin'?"
-- oh i would love it if you pimp me that carrot right there. how much for an hour of fun with that carrot? ten bucks? wow! i'd be inserting it in my funhole now if you don't mind.
"and this here is my bathtub y'knowwattymsayin'? it's where my ladies and me take a bath y'knowwattymsayin'? we just lay here at opposite ends, facing each other, just kickin' it y'knowwattymsayin'?"
-- i'm sorry. you're kicking what? so you're facing each other with legs stretched out and just "kickin' it? whoa! so lemme get this straight. that's you kicking her clam and her kicking your nuts and you're all just hanging around eh? weird celebrities. fucking weird celebrities! yeah, i know what you're saying you saddistic piece of shit!
and so that concludes this post (y'knowwattymsayin'?).
//i'm out.
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